Tag: SuperMell

Hero in Progress

Levelling Up to Level 50: The Evolution of SuperMell

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell stands confidently in a black and purple superhero suit with a large “M” emblem on her chest, surrounded by glowing pixel-art icons representing her earned powers. Above her, pixelated text reads “LEVEL 50 — EVOLUTION UNLOCKED.” A warm halo of light forms behind her like a skill-tree ring. Diana the black cat with a white chest tuft sits proudly at her feet, next to a pixel “+50 XP” symbol. The background blends cosmic colors with subtle pixel texture, creating a nostalgic video-game level-up screen.

The Level-Up Moment

Today marks a major life milestone for me:

I have levelled up to 50!

Yes! You read that right. I am now 50. Wow! It seems like just yesterday I was turning 40. Honestly, the 40s were kind of a blur for me, as so much shitty things happened that I’m now very happy they are over and done with. Things are already starting to look up as I’m working to rebound from the terrible hit I took a few years ago. I’m hoping the 50s will be much better for me… But what do I get to look forward to? *Checks notes* Menopause… Time to get a colonoscopy… yay…?

When I was younger, I assumed 50 would officially make me an ‘old lady.’ Ha-ha! Do I feel like an old lady now that I have finally gotten there? Not really… I don’t feel as spry as I used to, and I don’t feel like an old hag either. In fact, I don’t really feel anything about 50… Which is weird, as usually I panic when I reach the milestones.

My Hero’s Origin Story (So Far)

Don’t worry… This will be brief.

From childhood, I learned to appreciate the finer things in life, like watching cartoons, playing with toys, and my vivid imagination, I found that I had a creative drive in me and really wanted to pursue something in that field—In fact, I still do!

The Depression Beast™ was introduced to me during and many years after I was bullied in a small town. (I honestly don’t like small towns. Too much gossip, and if someone decides they don’t like you, no one else is allowed to like you either.) At least that’s been my experience. I also went most of my life without officially being diagnosed with ADHD… which was the source of so many issues, particularly with school and concentrating. They didn’t know how to diagnose girls with it at the time—still don’t, really. I struggled in school, struggled with reading, and was an average student. Ritalin has changed so much for me in the last three years that I wish I had tried it so many years ago.

My adulthood was marred by the Depression Beast™, and its super-fun friend: Dr. Anxiety™. I made some very costly mistakes as a result of these monsters, including being on the wrong medications, a failed marriage, and not realizing how great I had it until I threw it all away. I’m still rebuilding from my mistake three or four years ago. I’m now on the right meds, the right dosage, and feel more optimistic about my future than I ever did before. Now I’ve got a better job than I had before, and am looking forward to moving in a couple of weeks.

For many years, that bullying haunted me. Now I’ve come to see it as my hero’s origin story. Every superhero has one. This just happens to be mine.

Plot Twists I Never Saw Coming

Dr. Anxiety is such a sinister villain. He arrives out of the blue and steers you in one weird direction or another. It seems to everyone around you like you’re impulsive and tend to make rash decisions. They don’t know how often Dr. Anxiety talks to you about it. How you ruminate on the thing for days, weeks, or even months or years.

The old Doc showed itself in my life when I decided out of the blue I wanted to get married—and didn’t seem to care who to. It told me I needed to be married by 30 or I wouldn’t prove to everyone that I’d be a success despite what they did to me. That marriage was brief and quite painful, but it made me realize a few things about myself:

  • I’m not suited for marriage, and much prefer being on my own with my cat.
  • I had some unresolved trauma that led me down that path.
  • I deserved better than this.
  • I am both the hero and the writer of my own story. I get to decide what path I choose.

At least, I thought I had learned those lessons. Dr. Anxiety and the Depression Beast showed up yet again when I turned 40, to yell at me to fix myself and my issues or I wouldn’t prove to everyone that I’d be a success. It’s when I went on the wrong medications, became lethargic, and the Trump thing really affected my mental health in not-so-good ways. I’m considering a lawsuit against him some day…

Anywho… the pressure built until the inevitable explosion, taking my job as the first casualty. Attempts to course-correct failed, even though the desire to do better was there. The losses stacked up—career, home, stability—leaving me back in Alberta in my parents’ basement, earning shit-pay and fading under the weight of the Depression Beast. Appetite vanished, pounds disappeared, and surrender felt dangerously close.

After awhile, I decided to see about getting on the right medications, and convinced a doctor to let me see a psychiatrist. This has worked out beautifully! The Depression Beast has now officially gone away on a trip hopefully far, far away. Dr. Anxiety still pops up every once in awhile to tell me things, but I’ve chosen to not care about proving myself to everyone anymore. I really am the hero of my own story.

But somewhere along the way, I met someone new—Lady Optimism™. I honestly never thought this creature existed due to the lies the Depression Beast and Dr. Anxiety told me. But she’s there! It’s really nice to have her in my life now.

Skills, Powers & Traits Earned Along the Way

It turns out I’ve earned more than scars along the way—I’ve collected superpowers. Through the stumbles and roadblocks, I have managed to discover some superpowers I didn’t know I had:

These are great powers to have. Sure, flying or running really fast would be cool, but how realistic are they?

What Comes Next on the Journey

I’ve decided not to get too much ahead of myself and enjoy things slowly, one moment at a time. I’ve told the Depression Beast and Dr. Anxiety to take a hike. I no longer care about having to prove to anyone that I am a success. I know I am a success. It was silly having those beliefs at all. Who cares what any of them think of me, if they even do! I haven’t seen any of them in the couple of decades since I graduated from high school, so they mean nothing to me. All that matters is what I think of me, and I’ve finally come to a point where I like me.

A real shift is taking place, and it’s nudging me toward trusting the Universe a little more—especially when those old monsters try to resurface. Letting go, rather than gripping tightly, was exactly what led to the new home appearing like a beacon in the fog. Call it synchronicity or intuition, but life seems to respond to the energy you put into it. Challenges can feel cruel… or they can be the training arcs that reveal the powers you never realized you had.

The Calmness of a Purr

Diana is just the best. She’s currently resting her head on my knee, laying beside me on the couch as I’m writing this. It’s as if she knows I’m writing about her now, as a soft, gentle purr is emitting from her. I don’t know if she knows what levelling up is, or age for that matter, but she still seems like the same sweet, playful, and destructive cat she’s always been. She and Lucy were two of the best decisions I ever made.

Final Thought

Levelling up doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, often in video games, it’s seen as a good thing. You get new abilities, or more coins, or something. I’ve chosen to view aging as levelling up. The path before me was full of zigs and zags, but each one taught me something about myself and made me more resilient. Thanks for reading, for those who do. It’s appreciated.

What are some of the major shifts that have taught you more about yourself than you ever thought was possible? I’d love to hear all about it! Share your story in my comments, or comment on a post on social media.

Hero in Progress, Mission Logs

Break in the Clouds: The Universe Just Opened a Door

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell stands before a glowing apartment doorway, one hand reaching toward the handle as warm golden light and cosmic swirls shine from within. Storm clouds break behind her, revealing sunlight and a distant Calgary skyline. At her feet, Diana the black cat with a white chest tuft sits confidently inside the doorway, illuminated by the glow.

There’s been a break in the clouds! It’s interesting how things can change from one week to the next. As I wrote in my last post, I decided to put the stress of moving and uncertainty about it up into the Universe to handle. Well, the Universe responded in a big way! The Universe opened a door for me — one I’m ready to walk through.

A Change in the Direction

Previously, I had hopes of renting a place close to work that checked most of my boxes, but was a little worried about being able to handle additional costs, like pet fees, parking, utilities, etc. On a whim, I decided to check out some more listings on RentFaster.ca, and found a place that worked even better. Rent price includes all utilities, garbage, snow removal/lawn care, parking, and no pet fees, and separate ensuite laundry. And it’s actually cheaper than the other place! The only extra costs I would have to pay that I am not already paying are internet and tenant’s insurance. This makes budgeting so much easier for me to handle.

The Sign From the Universe

Not only did I find this amazing place, but I got a direct sign from the Universe that this place is meant to be. When I contacted the landlord to make arrangements to view the place, she informed me of the address… Here’s the sign:

The street address is exactly the same name as the street I currently live at in Carseland, but in Calgary!

That had to be the Universe sending me a signal, am I right?!!

Last Wednesday’s viewing made everything click; the place truly felt like home. Envisioning life there came naturally. Once the application, credit check, and references were completed, approval followed—now just waiting on the probationary period ending December 14th.

A Break in the Clouds

I am genuinely excited about this new place! I have nothing but good vibes about it. This has increased my optimism and is a wonderful boost to my mood. It literally feels like the storm clouds have started to break and clear skies are peeking through.

I am looking forward to moving in to the city, closer to my work and to my brother. Even though moving itself is exhausting and stressful for anyone, I feel confident that this will happen smoothly. Most of my things are still packed away and stored in my parents’ garage, so the packing and carrying up of the items in my place now can happen around the Christmas break, as I have the 24th to 27th off and am anticipating using some of those days to move things to the garage, space and weather pending. I’ll also do a deep clean. Only the bare necessities will remain, like clothes, food, bathroom supplies, etc. I love it when a plan comes together!

The Plan: Mission Parameters Locked In

December 2nd I will meet with the landlord after work and review the terms of the lease and sign it. Once I pass my probation at work, I notify the landlord, who at the time will be out of town for a couple of weeks. When she returns on December 23rd, she will sign the lease and then my first month’s rent will be due.

Move-in date is January 2nd, which I have anticipated as all truck rental places are closed for January 1st. As that is a holiday for me as well, I plan to do my laundry including my bedding, ensure the place is clean and tidy, and pack up all that remains except what I would need in the morning. I will use the bedding my parents had on the bed for that night. Then I will go to bed early that evening as I plan to get up early on January 2nd. I would normally work on January 1st evening, but now have asked for a personal day for that day, which has been granted.

Move-In Countdown: The Steps Ahead

On the morning of January 2nd, I will plan to be at the Enterprise rental place by 9:00 a.m. Then I’ll meet the landlord at the new place to go through inspection and get the keys. At that point, damage deposit will be due. Then I head back to Carseland, gearing to move things into the truck starting by around 10:30 or so (which reminds me, I have to post a ‘helpers needed to move’ post on Facebook Marketplace or something like that). I anticipate one hour to load the vehicles and then head to the new place, arriving by no later than 1:00. That will give me 2 hours to unload the truck, as I have previously estimated I would return the truck to the rental place by around 3:00.

At that point, my first priorities will be to ensure Diana is safe and comfortably exploring while I assemble the bed first, then the other furniture and move the furniture to where it would look best. Then I’ll probably rest for the day. I can take my time unpacking, starting with bathroom and kitchen and working my way through the boxes. After all, I will have the rest of the weekend to unpack and determine optimal times for sleeping in the new place.

Diana: The Warrior Princess

I hope Diana will adjust well to the new place and moving won’t be too stressful for her. She’s done it before and rode with me as I moved from Richmond, BC to Carseland, Alberta. This is a much closer move. She’ll be safely stashed away in the 2nd bedroom of the apartment when the moving in of items happens. The only thing I need to worry about is getting her into the cat carrier and traveling to Calgary. Also, I’m sure she will miss her boyfriend a lot, so I do worry about her and how she’ll handle all of this. But with a new place, and new windows to look out of, I’m sure she’ll adjust. I named her after Wonder Woman, after all. She must have missed scratching my couch, too, right?

Final Thought

When there’s a break in the clouds and a sign that the Universe has opened a door for you, you walk through it. When all signs point towards this being meant to be, you allow yourself to feel optimistic and positive. Some people don’t understand that, but I know that’s how things work. When you put good vibes out there into the Universe, you get good vibes back. If all you do is put out negativity, chances are that will be your path. I was in a bad place for a while because I was embracing negativity far too much. It’s so amazing how fast things can change when you decide to embrace positivity.

How has the Universe shown you your path forward? Have you gotten any signs like the one I just received? If so, please feel free to share your story in my comments.

Hero in Progress

The Calm Before Big Change

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell sits calmly in a lotus meditation pose while a storm rages in the background. Lightning flashes behind her as she keeps her eyes closed in peaceful focus. Diana, her black cat with a white chest tuft, rests curled in her lap with one ear perked, listening to the distant storm.

The Calm Before the Storm

I’m currently in a holding pattern—waiting to hear whether the place I want will have a vacancy, watching other January rentals, preparing for my Lean Six Sigma exam, and biding my time until I reach level 50… which is in 2 weeks. It feels like the calm before big change, and I’m trying to appreciate it even as the uncertainty makes me uneasy. I know I should appreciate the time I have now as it will get pretty hectic once December hits, but it also has a little bit of an unsettling void feel to it. Life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans, I guess.

The Storm

“The Storm” is how I’m choosing to encapsulate this uncertain time period. It could be a terrible storm, filled with lots of wind, a blizzard, a blinding fog, or all of the above. Or the meteorologists could get it wrong and it presents itself as much more tame than was anticipated. Who really knows for sure?

And honestly, the weather this week felt like a perfect mirror of my inner world. We actually did have a storm earlier this week. Rain, turned to freezing rain, and then snow, and lucky me had to drive through all of that on my way to work. It was super icy and I couldn’t travel more than 80 km/hr speed due to the car swaying too much on the frozen roads. It was like trying to drive on a frozen pond. It was scary but I made it in time for work as I left early. However, this made me question whether or not I should upgrade my tires to all weather tires… Yet another expense… Great…

Riding It Out

I’m trying not to get ahead of myself too much and stick to my weekend goals so I can calm the chaos. I’m also doing my best to practice self-care and breathing exercises to calm down my stress level so I don’t freak out. I’m pretty confident I will pass the probation period at work. I’m sure I will get it all figured out soon and get better at managing my time. My parents have decided to gift me the all weather tires for my birthday present, which is fantastic! (Thanks!) I will get the new tires on tomorrow—just in time for yet another winter storm to potentially hit on Sunday.

Things are starting to come together now. I’ve also got all my Christmas shopping done, almost finished wrapping all the gifts, and should have it ready tonight. It’s super rare for me to do anything Christmas-related before my birthday, but I decided to do a little shopping last Friday after work (as well as get my oil changed). As my birthday is in December, I have always felt like the two things need to be kept separate. But honestly? I was missing shopping. I love walking the malls, looking around, and all of that. I don’t really get to do that as often as I want to anymore with my crazy work schedule and living so far from a mall. The most I’ve been able to do is walk around Walmart, and that gets old real fast.

The Calm of a Storm

Who says storms are terrible anyway? Sure, some are, like hurricanes, tornadoes and typhoons. But there is a calmness to a storm. I love a good thunderstorm, and it was definitely something I missed while living on the West Coast. And who doesn’t love the scent after a fresh rainy day, or the sight of a beautiful rainbow to signal to us that it’s over.

It’s a very zen approach to take things one step at a time and to live in the now. What is the point of worrying about things not yet to come? It just causes too much stress on your mind and your body. Live in the moment. It is of course important to make plans in order to achieve a goal, but to take things slowly, not get ahead of myself, and figure it out as I go. Storms come and go, and so do these intense seasons of change. All things must pass…

Diana is a Master of Zen

Cats get it. They understand that time is really meaningless. All you need is food, fluids, a litter box, and some toys to make you happy. And plenty of sleep.

I have however noticed that she is constantly looking out the windows to see if her “boyfriend” is outside. (There’s this neighbourhood cat that roams around the whole town that our family has affectionately dubbed as “Boots” due to its white paws on a grey body). Diana always seems to be anticipating his approach around the same time usually. I think she actually worries about him if the weather changes, as when it was snowing earlier this week, she was looking for him with much more urgency. It will be difficult to move her away from him… Poor Diana!

Final Thought

I’m sure everything will magically fall into place. I know I’m not alone in feeling some anxiety about this calm before big change. I’m choosing to take things one task at a time, and send my stress up into the Universe to handle for me. Everything will be fine and will work out. I only have to believe it will and put those good thoughts out into the Universe.

What are some ways you deal with stress or anxiety? Share in the comments, I’d love to hear about it.

Mission Logs

Charting a Path Into Freelance Design (Without the Scams)

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell holds an old-fashioned legal scale with an uncertain expression while her black cat, Diana, sits in one of the scale’s pans and playfully bats at it, symbolizing weighing options and decision-making.

Mission Log: Chaos is Currently Reigning

After my last blog entry, I started thinking about what might be bothering me so much right now. There’s actually a lot of things going on. I turn 50 in 3 weeks, and if history is any indication, I usually panic at the decades and made some terrible decisions. When I turned 30, I suddenly decided I should get married and rushed into a relationship with someone that wasn’t right for me. When I became 40, I decided I was super depressed and went on the wrong medications that made things a hundred times worse. Looking back, I can see how those pressures pushed me into choices that weren’t aligned with who I really was. I guess I’m a little worried about what terrible decision I will make at 50.

From starting a new job, to thinking about moving in January, to finishing up my Lean Six Sigma Green Belt program (also in January), I have a lot of uncertainties going on. I don’t know for sure if I will pass the probationary period at work (though I think I’m doing okay), the costs of rent is ridiculously high and I’ve never paid that amount before so I have no idea if I can afford it. I need to study for a test also during the time I’m moving, so yeah, a lot is going on at the moment. It has me thinking about the near future and what it is I actually want. However, these kinds of thoughts has led to some terrible decisions, so I’m trying to slow down my thinking and figure out what it is I want to do.

Generating Extra Income

I do feel like I need more money to be able to make ends meet. Currently, one paycheque and a bit of the next one would be needed to make rent payments in Calgary at the place I want to rent. I would need to generate more income. That, and I am missing the graphic design aspect of my career.

I’m thinking about starting up my own freelance graphic design business, but I have no idea how to do that. I’m not what you would call business savvy. I know it may take up a lot of my extra time. which could be a good thing, but do I have the stamina to fulfill it? Also, where would I go to start one? Should I use a freelance agency? If so, which one? If not, how to graphic designers create their own freelance business? Are there resources out there from the Alberta or Canadian governments that could guide me through starting a freelance graphic design business? I have so many uncertainties, so I don’t want to make this decision lightly. I need a direction to head towards.

Never Fiverr

A couple of months ago, I tried to create a profile on Fiverr. I found the site only has scam artists asking you for your personal email address, which is against the company policy, yet everyone seems to be doing it, so clearly they don’t do much to weed out the scammers. I need a more reliable source to start my own freelance business up. I would appreciate any feedback anyone might have about this subject.

It’s Highly Competitive Out There

I also know that there are so many graphic designers out there in the same boat as me. I would need a way to separate myself from the competition and a way to stand out. I’ve never really been good at standing out…

So, yeah, my insecurities have decided to show up while I’m writing this blog. It’s always a thought in the back of my mind to do this though, so now I must seriously consider this as an option, or rule it out altogether. Could there be another legitimate way I could run a freelance business other than graphic design? I don’t know… The only thing I do know is I would either need to cut down on my expenses, which is difficult for me to do, or I have to find some other way to generate extra income that doesn’t intervene with my working or sleeping schedules.

What Am I Good At?

Here’s a brief list of the things I’m pretty good at:

  • print production
  • packaging design
  • booklet/catalog layout
  • branding basics
  • creative problem solving
  • process-driven design thanks to the Lean course

So how do I turn this into generating more income? Great question… I just wish I knew the answer.

Do I Really Need to Move?

Yes! Absolutely. After I lost my job, I had to move into my parents’ basement. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement. I thought the minute I found a full-time job, I would immediately start looking for another place to live in the city. I’m annoyed with all the driving I’m doing currently. I need my own independence and to feel like I am a fully-functional adult. Regaining my independence is pushing me to think seriously about extra income streams.

Hello?!! Anxiety!

I’m realizing while writing this blog post that I’m riddled with anxiety about everything. Is it about the costs of living? Is it about turning 50? Is it about not knowing how I’m going to make ends meet? Is it all of the above? Probably. Incidentally, this is what it’s like to have an ADHD mind for women, and why I’m finding it difficult to sleep much. My old friend anxiety is paying me another visit. I hope its’ friend, the ugly depression monster, won’t be accompanying it this time around.

Diana’s Wisdom: Take a Nap!

I admire cats so much. They never worry about anything. As long as there’s food in their dish, flowing water, and a place to do their business, they are quite happy. They also sleep a lot. I’m sure if Diana could talk to me, she’d tell me to relax and take a nap. That actually sounds good right about now. She’s currently snoozing up against my lap while I’m typing this post, and it really is quite soothing. Ah, to be a cat!

Final Thought

I will figure out a plan soon, though I want to get all the urgent things done first, like passing my probationary period at work, securing a place to live, studying for the test, and move, but I think it’s good to put this intention out into the Universe to say that I intend to start figuring it out after all of these things have been accomplished. A person can only juggle so many plates at once — even a hero-in-progress. As always, I appreciate anyone who reads my blog, and I would also appreciate any advice on where to start a freelance graphic design business. I’m sure this will be a topic for discussion with ChatGPT as well, but I would definitely appreciate some feedback.

Hero in Progress

Packing Up the Past: Making Space for My Next Mission

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell stands confidently in a softly lit room filled with half-packed boxes labeled “Past,” “Dreams,” and “Next Mission.” Her black cat, Diana, with golden eyes and a white tuft on her chest, sits on one of the boxes as dawn light streams through a window overlooking the Calgary skyline, symbolizing a hopeful new beginning.

SuperMell is Ready for the Next Chapter

As I prepare for a big move to Calgary, I’ve been thinking a lot about what ‘packing up the past’ really means. It was once put to me by someone wise that I am the hero of my own story—just as everyone is. I tend to view life through that lens. If things are going great, just wait for the next daunting chapter. When life is challenging, turn the page to a new one. That perspective keeps me from getting too lost in the lows and reminds me that life ebbs and flows like the ocean. There will always be ups and downs—it’s how you carry yourself through them that matters most.

Brave Words, Am I Right?!!

Haha! Sometimes I catch myself trying to write something inspirational and find myself wondering in my mind if what I am saying is factual or over exaggerated. Take that intro paragraph, for instance…. I’m not quite sure why I wrote that in particular, but it sounded in my head like a great start to a blog post. I don’t know if it is or isn’t, but it’s made me wonder how exactly am I carrying myself as of late.

Reality Hits Hard, Sometimes…

Some things are going great for me, and some I’m struggling with—so I guess you could be the judge of how well I’m carrying myself these days.

I’ve started a new night-shift job at a Printing Place in Calgary, and I genuinely like it. While it’s not exactly the graphic design world, it feels a lot closer than cleaning offices ever did. It’s creative-adjacent, process-oriented, and oddly satisfying.

But with every good chapter, there’s a subplot I could do without… What I don’t like so much is the daily commutes, especially as the daylight is completely gone or not quite present both late at night when driving to work, and early in the morning when driving home. It’s about a 40-45 minute drive away, and it’s becoming quite the pain in the ass, especially since we just had our first snowfall of the year yesterday after I got home from work. I’m grateful I didn’t have to drive through that on my way home—only some icy fog.

The extreme dislike to the commuting is highly motivating me to start looking at apartments. I’m trying to gear myself towards moving early January. Which is great, but scary as well. Rent prices haven’t fallen and likely won’t anytime soon, so that worries me a little bit. And of course there’s the added stress of actually moving, which is always a headache. But I’m trying to imagine myself a few months from now living closer to work and in a place where I can control the temperature, which has been at least a decade.

Feelings are Weird…

I guess the stress is getting to me as I’m finding it difficult to get my lovely ADHD brain to kick into gear. I avoid housework like the plague, am great at making list of things to do, but not so great at following through with it. The good news is most of my stuff is still packed away in the garage, so I don’t have a super amount of work to do as compared to my last move. But still… Budgeting, figuring out how to make the overnight weekends work for me without making too much noise, etc., etc.,

Somehow I feel like I will be able to get my act into gear once I have all my own stuff and can do what I want on the weekends, but then again, I’ve always struggled with the task of housework, so who knows if I will be more organized. I just feel like I have missed my things a lot, you know?

The stress of moving, starting a new job, commuting, and completing my Lean Six Sigma Green Belt training is making my emotions seems quite numb as of late. It turns out, this kind of upheaval is not just ‘normal-chaos’ — according to Healthline, people undergoing relocation often face significant emotional and mental-health shifts.

I’m not sure what it is I am feeling, other than stressed out and living with some uncertainties. For instance, the place I really want to rent I won’t know if they will have anything available for January until at least late November. I do worry about the costs of living and so forth as well. When exactly will that giant sack of money fall from the sky?

Diana’s Take

Diana, as always, just patiently sits by my side as I write this blog post. She probably has no idea how stressed out I am or the feeling of overwhelm that’s wreaking havoc on my ADHD brain. I’m sure she can’t wait to be able to scratch my couch again, or crawl around under my bed as she used to do. She might miss her friend, the neighbourhood kitty we have affectionately referred to as Boots, who prowls around looking for food. She probably won’t miss my parents’ cats though… It’s been awhile and they still don’t really get along.

Final Thought

Seriously, where is that giant sack of money? Has anyone found one yet? If so, how and where did you find it? I’m dying to know! I’m doing my best to save money now, and will be able to handle things until I move, but not so sure about how to afford it when I am living in Calgary again. Time will tell, I suppose.

The Ones Who Shaped Me

The Wheaton Effect: How One Hero Helped Me Unmask Myself

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell sits cross-legged on the floor of her softly glowing Command Centre, writing in a digital journal as a warm golden light radiates from a monitor behind her. The light forms a faint silhouette made of glowing words like “hope,” “courage,” and “writing.” Diana, her black cat, sits in her lap, eyes half-closed in contentment, as symbols of inspiration hover around them — a starship, a quill, and an open book.

Fandom Meets Inspiration

There’s one person I’ve mentioned a few times on my blog who’s had a huge influence on me — someone who deserves a post dedicated entirely to him. Not only have I been a fan of his since childhood, but his personal healing journeycontinues to inspire me.
That person is Wil Wheaton.

How I Was Introduced to Him

One of my all-time favourite animated movies — if not the favourite — was The Secret of N.I.M.H. The story was darker than most cartoons at the time, and to a young girl constantly surrounded by princesses and happily-ever-afters, it felt real.

Despite the talking animals, the story of a widowed mother trying to save her son — and ultimately her whole family — struck a deep chord with me. It was emotional, impactful, and beautifully performed. I later learned that Wil Wheaton voiced her older son, and that connection would stay with me.

Then came Stand By Me. A story about four boys searching for a dead body might sound like an odd favourite, but I’ve always been drawn to stories with emotional weight. I instantly related to Wheaton’s character, Gordie Lachance — shy, creative, and burdened with grief and self-doubt. Even as a kid, I could see that pain behind his eyes.

When I later learned that Wheaton brought parts of himself to that role, it made sense. His performance was both powerful and painfully human.

Star Trek and a Sense of Belonging

I didn’t start watching Star Trek: The Next Generation until Season 3. I’ll admit it — when it first aired, I thought Star Trek was “too nerdy.” But when I discovered Wil Wheaton was part of the cast, I decided to tune in — and that decision changed everything.

That was the start of my love for Star Trek. The show’s blend of humanity, exploration, and teamwork felt like family to me. I wouldn’t have noticed it at all if Wheaton hadn’t been there to draw me in — proof that sometimes fandoms find you right when you need them most.

The Great Depression

No, not the one from the 1930s — mine.

Growing up in a small town, I was bullied relentlessly — back when it was dismissed as “teasing” and never taken seriously. By junior high, I knew I was depressed, even if I didn’t yet have the language for it.

Star Trek: The Next Generation became my safe place. It aired in syndication after school every day, and for two hours, I could escape. The stories, the friendships, and the sense of hope gave me a reason to hold on. It showed me what healthy connection and belonging could look like, even when I felt isolated in real life.

When I couldn’t find work after high school, my depression deepened. I was trapped in the same town that hurt me, hearing classmates actively discourage people from hiring me. I survived by disappearing into Star Trek and superhero comics — worlds where people overcame impossible odds.

Those stories — and Wheaton’s presence in them — gave me hope when I had none.

WilWheaton.net

In the early days of the internet, I discovered Wil Wheaton’s blog, and I was instantly hooked. His writing was raw, honest, and often frustrated with the same world that had once cheered him. It made me feel seen.

As someone still processing years of bullying and trying to find my place in the world, it was incredibly healing to read a public figure be that vulnerable. I wasn’t alone anymore.

Because of Wil Wheaton, I started blogging too. I found that I could be more open online than in person. Over time, I realized how therapeutic it was — writing gave my pain shape and then set it free.

One day, I wrote a furious blog post about a junior-high bully who had haunted my thoughts for years. I poured out every detail, every resentment, every wound. When I finished, the obsession was gone. It was as if I’d exorcised him from my mind. That was the moment I realized writing could heal — a discovery that began with Wil Wheaton’s blog.

Wheaton’s Personal Healing Journey

When I read his memoir Just a Geek, I was going through my own personal struggles. His openness about regret and self-doubt was both humbling and motivating.

He wrote about his “Prove to Everyone” voice — that inner critic that demanded success to justify his choices. His was “Prove to everyone that quitting Star Trek was the right thing to do.” Mine was “Prove to everyone that I can be a success despite what they did to me.”

That drive led to a few bad decisions — including a marriage based more on fear than love — but seeing Wil’s honesty about his own missteps helped me forgive myself.

Years later, when he released Still Just a Geek, it hit even harder. By then, he’d opened up about his abuse and his path to recovery. Reading those words felt like closure — not only for him, but for the version of myself who first needed his example.

Just a Fan

I’m not a fangirl, exactly — more like a student. I see Wil Wheaton as a mentor in resilience and authenticity. As he’s learned to heal and speak openly about mental health, I’ve learned to accept my past and find meaning in it.

I’ve been successful before, but I didn’t recognize it through the fog of depression. Now, I’m rebuilding — one small step at a time — and I wouldn’t be where I am without the inspiration of his story.

Diana’s Wisdom

I’m not sure if Diana knows who Wil Wheaton is — but she’d probably approve. He’s an animal lover too, and his affection for his pets always warms my heart.

Diana, of course, believes all cats should have publicists and mental health advocates. 🐾 If they ever met, I think she’d purr in solidarity.

Final Thought

The impact Wil Wheaton has had on my life wasn’t small — it was seismic. From his performances to his writing to his advocacy for mental health, his honesty has helped shape who I am.

I hope he continues to heal and thrive — because through his courage, I learned how to unmask myself.

Command Centre Update

The Journey Evolves

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell sits at her glowing Command Centre desk, writing on a digital journal as soft holographic echoes of past adventures fade behind her. Diana, her black cat, sits nearby with golden eyes, nodding approvingly as if acknowledging this new chapter in the journey.

SuperMell’s Log: Time for a Change

I’m going to be changing the direction of this blog. Instead of writing every day, I’ll be writing when inspiration strikes. Lately, I’ve started to feel like this blog is more ChatGPT’s than mine. While it’s been an incredible creative partner — and some posts turned out beautifully — the process has begun to feel repetitive. I want this space to reflect my journey, not just a rhythm. It’s time to recalibrate.

What Changes?!!

Instead of weekly and daily themes, my posts will have categories. These categories are, in no particular order:

I think it’s necessary to change things so they make more sense, rather than writing posts for the sake of making sure there are posts. I want this site to be a labour of love from me to anyone who actually reads this site, rather than an AI-generated blog post.

My Personal AI Assistant

I’ve loved using ChatGPT to help shape this blog. The changes ahead are about direction, not disconnection. I’ll still use it to refine SEO, readability, and my usual visuals — including those SuperMell and Diana images that have become part of this blog’s identity. And when I hit a creative wall, I might still ask it for a spark — just as any writer bounces ideas off a trusted collaborator.

Changes?!! We Don’t Need No Stinking Changes!

Kidding, of course. There are personal reasons why I am making these changes. For that, I wish to tell you about what inspired me to do blogging in the first place: Wil Wheaton and his blog.

I was always a fan of his as an actor, but more so when I discovered his blog on the early days of the internet. It has served as the inspiration behind my own personal blog. I loved how open he was about his story and his troubles with mental health. It was extremely helpful to a shy and insecure person like myself, who had a huge history of being bullied as a kid, that someone as famous as him shared some of the same struggles I did. In a way, it made me feel less alone in this world.

These changes aren’t about walking away — they’re about coming home to my own voice. I’ve at time struggled with my own issues. I used blogging early on to try to sort out my emotions and thoughts and my healing journey. While some of those posts really resonated with some people, I found them to be a little too negative. So it was easy for me to come up with the concept of this blog, with the help of ChatGPT to help keep the narrative positive and superhero-inspired. It has just gotten to the point that it no longer feels like it’s my blog anymore, so I needed to change things up a bit.

Will Anything Be the Same?

Absolutely! I love the SuperMell persona — she’s become a symbol of strength and creativity for me. Someday I will learn how to sew and make my own costume so I can wear it proudly at Fan Expos and Comicons, and of course Halloween. And of course my sidekick, Diana the cat, will continue to have a prominent role here on these pages. I do love the geek culture posts and love the general message of this blog.

The whole purpose of my website was to try to make a web presence for myself in the hopes it helps market me to potential job hunters looking for an experienced and quirky graphic designer. But since the blog started, it has evolved more so into a whole other personal journey.

I have found some of the posts that were written by AI were quite great and it has indeed helped me to deal with some very important issues. It helped me get out of working for a toxic company owned by people who shouldn’t be running a business. It has helped me deal with some personal issues and I often turn to it for advice. So it’s not like I will be completely giving up my ChatGPT.

Diana’s Insight

As much as Diana loves consistency, she also loves authenticity. Sometimes I would look at her as I was copying and pasting the stories, and she’d be giving me this look like she was saying, “What are you actually doing?” She reminded me to find my own voice again. She’s purr-fection!

Final Thought

I hope you all will enjoy the changes moving forward. I don’t know how often I will be posting, but it definitely won’t be a daily thing anymore. It’s proving to be taking up too much of my time as it is, so the posts will be two or three a week, or whenever I feel inspired to write something. If you don’t miss a post, remember to subscribe to my blog. I will continue to share these posts on social media when I do post.

Thank you for following along on this journey — and for giving me a reason to keep growing, creating, and sharing. I don’t know how often I’ll post, but when I do, I promise it’ll be authentic and from the heart.

Live long and prosper. 🖖

Skill Builder Saturday

Frequency Calibration: Fine-Tuning Focus and Flow

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell, wearing large purple headphones and her black-and-purple superhero suit, works at a glowing DJ console surrounded by swirling light waves. Her black cat, Diana, scratches a record beside her, tail flicking in rhythm. Together, they embody creative focus and flow through music and motion.

Mission Log: Alignment Engaged

Every creative signal needs calibration — that moment of pausing, adjusting, and syncing up with what matters most. Focus and flow aren’t constant states; they’re frequencies that shift depending on energy, environment, and emotion. The key isn’t to control them perfectly, but to stay aware of when they drift — and to know how to tune back in.

I’ve learned that the strongest focus comes from presence, not pressure. It’s not about forcing productivity, but about finding the rhythm that lets work and creativity move together.

The Art of the Tune-Up

Calibration starts with awareness. Some days my thoughts scatter like static — too many tabs open, too many signals crossing. Other days, I’m locked into that near-magical state of flow where hours pass like minutes.

I’ve discovered a few tools that help me stay aligned between those extremes:
🎯 Set the intention, not the outcome. Focus on showing up fully rather than expecting perfection.
🔄 Work in signals, not blocks. I shift between tasks when the energy fades instead of forcing one to fit the wrong frequency.
💤 Rest as part of rhythm. Pausing is just another form of calibration — it clears mental bandwidth for the next transmission.

The process isn’t about control — it’s about connection. When I’m aligned with my values, my work feels natural, even when it’s challenging.

Flow as Frequency

Flow isn’t a single channel; it’s a dynamic frequency that hums when everything aligns — motivation, clarity, and curiosity. Sometimes I find it in writing, other times in design or study. It’s never predictable, but it’s always recognizable.

The trick is not chasing flow but preparing for it — setting the conditions where it’s invited in. When focus meets joy, and effort meets ease, that’s when the signal comes through crystal clear.

Diana’s Wisdom: The Natural Reset

Diana doesn’t overthink her focus. When she’s ready to rest, she rests. When she’s curious, she acts. Watching her reminds me that focus doesn’t need to be rigid — it can ebb and return naturally if I stop fighting it. Her balance between action and stillness is its own kind of flow.

Final Thought: Staying in Tune

Calibration isn’t a one-time event — it’s a lifelong skill. Each day brings a new set of signals, some loud, some subtle. My job is to listen closely, make small adjustments, and keep transmitting with intention.

The frequency of focus and flow may fluctuate, but as long as I stay tuned in — to purpose, to presence, to possibility — I’ll always find my way back to the signal.

FunDay Friday

Signal Boost: The Power of Shared Stories

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell stands on a hill under a twilight sky, raising a glowing signal beacon that sends out arcs of purple, blue, and gold light across the horizon. Diana, her black cat, sits beside her, watching as smaller signals scatter into the distance, symbolizing stories connecting people everywhere.

Mission Log: Transmission Expanded

Every story is a signal. Some reach only a few people; others ripple across the world. But the real power isn’t in the size of the audience — it’s in the connection. When stories are shared, they amplify something larger than the storyteller. They bridge experiences, spark empathy, and remind us that we’re all tuned to similar frequencies, even if our channels sound different.

I’ve realized that storytelling isn’t just what I do — it’s how I connect. It’s how I build bridges between art and life, creativity and work, and even between the person I am now and the one I’m still becoming.

Amplifying the Right Signals

Some stories stay small and intimate — like the ones I share here, late at night, when reflection meets inspiration. Others grow louder when someone else sees themselves in them.

When I started this blog, I didn’t expect the feedback loop it would create — the conversations it would spark, the quiet encouragement from people who resonated with something I’d written. Every kind comment, every shared thought, became a signal boost of its own. That’s the beauty of creative storytelling: one voice amplifies another, and soon, it’s not just my story anymore.

Stories as Superpowers

Shared stories build strength. They teach, comfort, and connect — whether it’s through fandom, friendship, or creative exchange. I think of the storytellers who inspired me: comic book creators, screenwriters, animators, and countless others whose imagination kept my own frequency alive. They didn’t just entertain me; they gave me tools to understand myself.

That’s the power of shared signals — they remind us that creativity isn’t a solo transmission. It’s a network.

Diana’s Wisdom: The Company We Keep

Diana may not tell stories in words, but she’s a master of connection. She knows when to curl up beside me, when to listen, and when to simply be there. Her quiet companionship reminds me that sometimes the strongest signal is presence — being part of someone else’s story just by sharing the moment.

Final Thought: Passing the Signal Forward

The best stories don’t end — they echo. Whether through art, kindness, or creativity, every shared story sends out another wave of hope and understanding. And if even one person catches that signal and feels less alone because of it, that’s the kind of broadcast that matters most.

Transferable Thursday

Broadcast Skills: Communication Strengths That Cross Every Channel

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell stands near a glowing communications hub filled with antennas and satellite dishes, monitoring signals radiating across the sky. Diana, her black cat, playfully chases one of the outgoing light beams, symbolizing curiosity and communication across every channel.

Mission Log: Signal Transmission Active

Every hero has a signature move — mine just happens to be communication strengths. Whether through words, design, or creative storytelling, I’ve learned that how I send the message matters just as much as what I’m saying. Clear communication isn’t just a workplace skill; it’s a survival skill. It’s how I connect ideas, translate emotions, and bridge the gap between intention and understanding.

And like any good broadcast system, the signal changes based on the channel — yet the core message remains my own.

Adapting the Frequency

In the creative world, communication takes on many forms:
🎨 A design brief becomes a visual story.
💬 A workplace update turns into a narrative of teamwork.
📊 A Lean Six Sigma project summary evolves into a clear, data-backed story of improvement.

My strength lies in reading the environment — adjusting tone, style, and focus to fit the audience without losing authenticity. Whether I’m presenting metrics, writing a blog, or mentoring someone new, the goal is the same: to make complex things understandable and meaningful.

Being able to “translate” between creative and operational language is one of my favourite skills. It’s like switching between AM and FM frequencies — each has its own clarity, and I know how to tune into both.

The Power of Listening

Effective communication isn’t all transmission; half the mission is reception.
Listening — really listening — builds trust. It keeps projects aligned, teams motivated, and collaboration smooth. I’ve learned to listen for tone as much as content, to notice what’s not being said, and to stay curious instead of reactive.

Listening with empathy also sharpens creative instincts — because understanding what people need often reveals what the story, project, or process truly requires.

Diana’s Wisdom: Say Less, Mean More

Diana’s communication style is subtle but effective. A single glance, a well-timed meow, or a gentle nudge says everything. She doesn’t waste words (or energy). Watching her reminds me that clarity often comes from restraint — that sometimes the most powerful communication isn’t loud, it’s precise.

Final Thought: Strength Across Every Channel

Strong communication isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence. Whether I’m writing, designing, leading, or listening, every channel I use carries the same intent: to connect with purpose. The methods may shift, but the message stays true — and that’s what keeps my broadcast signal clear across every frequency.