Tag: self-discovery

Hero in Progress

Levelling Up to Level 50: The Evolution of SuperMell

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell stands confidently in a black and purple superhero suit with a large “M” emblem on her chest, surrounded by glowing pixel-art icons representing her earned powers. Above her, pixelated text reads “LEVEL 50 — EVOLUTION UNLOCKED.” A warm halo of light forms behind her like a skill-tree ring. Diana the black cat with a white chest tuft sits proudly at her feet, next to a pixel “+50 XP” symbol. The background blends cosmic colors with subtle pixel texture, creating a nostalgic video-game level-up screen.

The Level-Up Moment

Today marks a major life milestone for me:

I have levelled up to 50!

Yes! You read that right. I am now 50. Wow! It seems like just yesterday I was turning 40. Honestly, the 40s were kind of a blur for me, as so much shitty things happened that I’m now very happy they are over and done with. Things are already starting to look up as I’m working to rebound from the terrible hit I took a few years ago. I’m hoping the 50s will be much better for me… But what do I get to look forward to? *Checks notes* Menopause… Time to get a colonoscopy… yay…?

When I was younger, I assumed 50 would officially make me an ‘old lady.’ Ha-ha! Do I feel like an old lady now that I have finally gotten there? Not really… I don’t feel as spry as I used to, and I don’t feel like an old hag either. In fact, I don’t really feel anything about 50… Which is weird, as usually I panic when I reach the milestones.

My Hero’s Origin Story (So Far)

Don’t worry… This will be brief.

From childhood, I learned to appreciate the finer things in life, like watching cartoons, playing with toys, and my vivid imagination, I found that I had a creative drive in me and really wanted to pursue something in that field—In fact, I still do!

The Depression Beast™ was introduced to me during and many years after I was bullied in a small town. (I honestly don’t like small towns. Too much gossip, and if someone decides they don’t like you, no one else is allowed to like you either.) At least that’s been my experience. I also went most of my life without officially being diagnosed with ADHD… which was the source of so many issues, particularly with school and concentrating. They didn’t know how to diagnose girls with it at the time—still don’t, really. I struggled in school, struggled with reading, and was an average student. Ritalin has changed so much for me in the last three years that I wish I had tried it so many years ago.

My adulthood was marred by the Depression Beast™, and its super-fun friend: Dr. Anxiety™. I made some very costly mistakes as a result of these monsters, including being on the wrong medications, a failed marriage, and not realizing how great I had it until I threw it all away. I’m still rebuilding from my mistake three or four years ago. I’m now on the right meds, the right dosage, and feel more optimistic about my future than I ever did before. Now I’ve got a better job than I had before, and am looking forward to moving in a couple of weeks.

For many years, that bullying haunted me. Now I’ve come to see it as my hero’s origin story. Every superhero has one. This just happens to be mine.

Plot Twists I Never Saw Coming

Dr. Anxiety is such a sinister villain. He arrives out of the blue and steers you in one weird direction or another. It seems to everyone around you like you’re impulsive and tend to make rash decisions. They don’t know how often Dr. Anxiety talks to you about it. How you ruminate on the thing for days, weeks, or even months or years.

The old Doc showed itself in my life when I decided out of the blue I wanted to get married—and didn’t seem to care who to. It told me I needed to be married by 30 or I wouldn’t prove to everyone that I’d be a success despite what they did to me. That marriage was brief and quite painful, but it made me realize a few things about myself:

  • I’m not suited for marriage, and much prefer being on my own with my cat.
  • I had some unresolved trauma that led me down that path.
  • I deserved better than this.
  • I am both the hero and the writer of my own story. I get to decide what path I choose.

At least, I thought I had learned those lessons. Dr. Anxiety and the Depression Beast showed up yet again when I turned 40, to yell at me to fix myself and my issues or I wouldn’t prove to everyone that I’d be a success. It’s when I went on the wrong medications, became lethargic, and the Trump thing really affected my mental health in not-so-good ways. I’m considering a lawsuit against him some day…

Anywho… the pressure built until the inevitable explosion, taking my job as the first casualty. Attempts to course-correct failed, even though the desire to do better was there. The losses stacked up—career, home, stability—leaving me back in Alberta in my parents’ basement, earning shit-pay and fading under the weight of the Depression Beast. Appetite vanished, pounds disappeared, and surrender felt dangerously close.

After awhile, I decided to see about getting on the right medications, and convinced a doctor to let me see a psychiatrist. This has worked out beautifully! The Depression Beast has now officially gone away on a trip hopefully far, far away. Dr. Anxiety still pops up every once in awhile to tell me things, but I’ve chosen to not care about proving myself to everyone anymore. I really am the hero of my own story.

But somewhere along the way, I met someone new—Lady Optimism™. I honestly never thought this creature existed due to the lies the Depression Beast and Dr. Anxiety told me. But she’s there! It’s really nice to have her in my life now.

Skills, Powers & Traits Earned Along the Way

It turns out I’ve earned more than scars along the way—I’ve collected superpowers. Through the stumbles and roadblocks, I have managed to discover some superpowers I didn’t know I had:

These are great powers to have. Sure, flying or running really fast would be cool, but how realistic are they?

What Comes Next on the Journey

I’ve decided not to get too much ahead of myself and enjoy things slowly, one moment at a time. I’ve told the Depression Beast and Dr. Anxiety to take a hike. I no longer care about having to prove to anyone that I am a success. I know I am a success. It was silly having those beliefs at all. Who cares what any of them think of me, if they even do! I haven’t seen any of them in the couple of decades since I graduated from high school, so they mean nothing to me. All that matters is what I think of me, and I’ve finally come to a point where I like me.

A real shift is taking place, and it’s nudging me toward trusting the Universe a little more—especially when those old monsters try to resurface. Letting go, rather than gripping tightly, was exactly what led to the new home appearing like a beacon in the fog. Call it synchronicity or intuition, but life seems to respond to the energy you put into it. Challenges can feel cruel… or they can be the training arcs that reveal the powers you never realized you had.

The Calmness of a Purr

Diana is just the best. She’s currently resting her head on my knee, laying beside me on the couch as I’m writing this. It’s as if she knows I’m writing about her now, as a soft, gentle purr is emitting from her. I don’t know if she knows what levelling up is, or age for that matter, but she still seems like the same sweet, playful, and destructive cat she’s always been. She and Lucy were two of the best decisions I ever made.

Final Thought

Levelling up doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, often in video games, it’s seen as a good thing. You get new abilities, or more coins, or something. I’ve chosen to view aging as levelling up. The path before me was full of zigs and zags, but each one taught me something about myself and made me more resilient. Thanks for reading, for those who do. It’s appreciated.

What are some of the major shifts that have taught you more about yourself than you ever thought was possible? I’d love to hear all about it! Share your story in my comments, or comment on a post on social media.

Wisdom Wednesday

Lessons from the Midnight Hours: What Darkness Teaches

Mell D'Clute
A semi-realistic comic book–style illustration of SuperMell, a female superhero with medium-length brown hair and purple glasses, sitting cross-legged on the edge of a quiet city rooftop at night. She wears a sleek black suit with a glowing purple “M” emblem on her chest. Beside her sits Diana, a black cat with a small white tuft on her chest and golden eyes, gazing at the stars. The city below glows softly in violet and blue tones beneath a wide starlit sky and bright moon, while the purple light from SuperMell’s emblem gently illuminates them both.

Night as a Teacher

There’s something about the world after midnight that feels like a truth you can’t hear in daylight. The noise fades, the pace slows, and what’s left is raw and real. It’s not loneliness—it’s spaciousness. Working through these hours has shown me that darkness isn’t just an absence of light; it’s a presence of calm, reflection, and unseen strength.

The midnight hours invite honesty. In the silence, there’s no room for pretense, no spotlight demanding performance. Just the steady hum of machines, the glow of monitors, and your own heartbeat keeping time.

The Quiet Reveals What Noise Conceals

Daytime is a flood of distractions—conversations, deadlines, expectations. But night teaches you to listen between the sounds. There’s an art to stillness, a rhythm in the hush. I’ve found that when I stop fighting the quiet, it begins to speak back.

The lessons from the midnight hours come softly: patience, presence, humility. Darkness reminds me that progress doesn’t always roar—it sometimes whispers.

Seeing Without the Spotlight

Under the fluorescent hum of the night shift, clarity comes from small things. A task done well. A coworker’s silent nod. The sense of purpose that doesn’t need validation. The night has a way of stripping away everything unnecessary and leaving you with what’s true.

It’s made me realize that the “spotlight moments” in life are overrated. Growth doesn’t happen there—it happens in the shadows, in the slow and steady effort that no one sees.

The Paradox of Darkness and Light

Working in the dark has taught me that light isn’t the opposite of darkness—it’s born from it. Every insight I’ve had, every little victory, glows brighter because of the contrast around it. There’s something sacred in that balance—knowing that you can find illumination even when surrounded by shadow.

Maybe that’s what purpose really is: not chasing brightness, but learning how to make your own light.

Diana’s Midnight Wisdom

Diana doesn’t seem to mind the late hours—if anything, she thrives in them. She’s taught me that rest isn’t about when you sleep, but how you carry peace within yourself. I’ve caught her gazing out the window at the moonlight, unbothered, content, present. A reminder that stillness is a form of strength.

Final Thought

The lessons from the midnight hours don’t just test endurance—they reveal essence. In the darkness, there’s no mask, no audience, only truth. And that’s where wisdom begins: not in knowing what comes next, but in learning to sit comfortably in the unknown.

Soft-Paw Sunday

Becoming a Participant

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell, in her purple superhero suit with glowing chest emblem, stands in a circle with three silhouetted figures, each raising one hand to receive and lowering the other to give. Diana, the black cat, sits calmly at her side. A glowing mandala-like energy field surrounds the group, radiating warmth and light, symbolizing unity, balance, and participation.

Stepping Into the Circle

This morning’s card, Participation, couldn’t have been more fitting. It’s a reminder that life is not meant to be lived on the sidelines. We’re here to become a participant, to add our unique spark to something greater than ourselves. Isolation may feel safe, but true beauty is found in the sum of our parts—when we show up, engage, and contribute to the whole.

Drawn Today: Participation

Each figure in this mandala holds the right hand up, in an attitude of receiving, and the left hand down, in an attitude of giving. The whole circle creates a tremendous energy field that takes on the shape of the double dorje, the Tibetan symbol for the thunderbolt. The mandala has a quality like that of the energy field that forms around the buddha, where all the individuals taking part in the circle make a unique contribution to create a unified and vital whole. It is like a flower, whose wholeness is even more beautiful than the sum of its parts, at the same time enhancing the beauty of each individual petal.

You have an opportunity to participate with others now to make your contribution to creating something greater and more beautiful than each of you could manage alone. Your participation will not only nourish you, but will also contribute something precious to the whole.

What It Means for Me

What struck me most is the reminder that there is beauty in the sum of our parts. I have an opportunity right now to participate with others—both in small ways in daily life and more tangibly in my new job training. While I often feel isolated, this card feels like a gentle nudge: stop watching from the sidelines and step into the circle. By participating, I can contribute something that not only strengthens the whole but also nourishes me.

Osho Reminds Us

Have you ever seen night going? Very few people even become aware of things that are happening every day. Have you ever seen the evening coming? The midnight and its song? The sunrise and its beauty? We are behaving almost like blind people. In such a beautiful world we are living in small ponds of our own misery. It is familiar, so even if somebody wants to pull you out, you struggle. You don’t want to be pulled out of your misery, or your suffering. Otherwise there is so much joy all around, you have just to be aware of it and to become a participant, not a spectator.

Philosophy is speculation, Zen is participation. Participate in the night leaving, participate in the evening coming, participate in the stars and participate in the clouds; make participation your lifestyle and the whole existence becomes such a joy, such an ecstasy. You could not have dreamed of a better universe.

You can read more about Osho’s teachings on participation.

Diana’s Wisdom in Zen

Diana doesn’t just observe—she joins in. Whether it’s chasing a toy, curling up beside me, or simply being present in the rhythm of my day, she reminds me that life is richer when you engage. To her, participation is instinct: lean in, play, rest, connect.

Final Thought

Becoming a participant is about more than showing up—it’s about opening yourself to give and receive in equal measure. Each of us is a petal, and together we make the flower. Today, I’m reminded that life isn’t meant to be watched from the shadows. It’s meant to be lived, shared, and celebrated—hand in hand, paw in paw, with others.

Mission Monday

The Power Within: Defining My Hero’s Core

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell kneels in a dim room, pressing one hand to the ground as glowing purple light radiates from the emblem on her chest, sending energy cracks through the floor and walls. Beside her, Diana the black cat with golden eyes watches calmly, her eyes faintly glowing in the light.

Every superhero has a source of strength, that inner core they return to when the battles get tough. For some, it’s their values. For others, it’s their resilience or their unshakable hope. For me, that “hero’s core” is something I’ve been learning to uncover piece by piece, and this week feels like the right time to define it.

What “The Power Within” Means to Me

I used to think power came from the outside—being recognized, being successful, being “good enough” in the eyes of others. But the more I’ve grown, the more I realize that real power starts inside. It’s the quiet strength to keep going when the world feels heavy, and the courage to show up even when doubt whispers in the background.

This inner power isn’t about perfection. It’s about authenticity. It’s the spark that fuels me when I study for my Lean Six Sigma Green Belt, or when I pour my heart into creative projects. It’s also what keeps me grounded when life feels messy and uncertain.

Core Traits That Shape My Hero Identity

If I strip it down to essentials, here’s what I see at my centre:

These traits together form the foundation of how I want to move through the world—not just as “SuperMell,” but as the real me.

Keeping That Core Strong

Every hero needs to recharge their inner power source. For me, that looks like:

  • Taking time to reflect (through writing, tarot, or quiet walks).
  • Finding joy in small victories and celebrating progress.
  • Surrounding myself with stories, heroes, and communities that remind me what’s possible.

Defining this “core” doesn’t mean I won’t stumble or question myself again—but it gives me a map. Whenever I feel lost, I can return to these traits, the same way a hero returns to their symbol, their cause, or their team.

Diana’s Reminder

Diana, as always, adds her wisdom in her own way. She doesn’t second-guess her worth—she simply is. She eats when she’s hungry, plays when she wants joy, and curls up close when comfort is needed. Sometimes I think the purest example of living from your core is right there in the eyes of a cat who knows her place in the world without apology.

Final Thought

Defining my hero’s core reminds me that power isn’t something I need to chase. It’s already here, waiting to be trusted and lived out.

What’s at the centre of your core? If you had to define the traits that power your journey, which ones would you choose?

FunDay Friday

Costumes, Cosplay & the Freedom to Be Seen

Mell D'Clute
A smiling woman in everyday clothes holds up a sleek, black-and-purple superhero suit in front of her, preparing to put it on. On a nearby table, a small black cat with golden eyes playfully paws at a purple superhero mask. The setting is a cozy, softly lit room, blending the warmth of real life with the promise of transformation.

🦸‍♀️ Introduction: Alter Egos & Real Confidence

Have you ever felt more like yourself in a costume than in regular clothes?

Cosplay isn’t just a hobby—it’s a declaration. When we suit up as our favourite characters, we’re not hiding—we’re stepping into a version of ourselves that’s louder, braver, or more visible. For me, every time I put on a costume (Meg Griffin most recently at Fan Expo), I feel like I’m letting part of myself out, not tucking it away.

🧵 Making the Costume Fit the Soul

There’s a special kind of magic in choosing who you want to be for a day. Whether it’s a store-bought piece or a hand-stitched masterpiece, the costume becomes a second skin—one that feels more honest than expected.

Reflecting on this, I realized: the characters we pick often reflect who we wish we could be every day. For some, it’s about power or beauty. For others (like me), it’s about finally being seen without apology.

🎭 From Disguise to Discovery

Costumes don’t conceal—they reveal. As someone who has struggled with confidence and visibility in everyday life, cosplay became a safe, bold space. It’s where I learned how freeing it can be to be loud about who I am.

Ironically, wearing a “mask” helped me take mine off in real life.

🪞 Diana’s Moment

Diana’s never needed a costume to stand tall, but I like to think she’d rock a tiny cape if given the chance. She’s always her authentic self—stretching, purring, knocking things off the desk—no pretense, just presence. We could all learn something from that.

🧠 Final Thought

Costumes are more than fabric and foam. They’re invitations—to play, to explore, to be seen. And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need to remember who we are under the mask.

What are some of your favourite cosplays you have donned and why? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

Wisdom Wednesday

Unlocking the Data: What Personality Tests Actually Taught Me

Mell D'Clute
A superhero in a black and purple suit (SuperMell) stands at a futuristic console displaying personality and career assessment data. Charts show terms like “Artistic” and “People & Ideas.” A black cat with a white chest patch (Diana) taps one chart with her paw. Light shines on a glowing path in the background.

🧩 Introduction

I’ve taken plenty of personality tests and career assessments over the years—sometimes out of curiosity, sometimes out of sheer desperation to find direction. But recently, something shifted. As I reviewed the results from my Strong Interest Inventory and other tools, I realized these weren’t just abstract categories or career buzzwords—they were mirrors reflecting parts of myself I’d undervalued or never fully understood.

🔍 Insights That Mattered

Here are the biggest takeaways I’ve gained from digging into my own data:

  • Creativity isn’t a side quest—it’s my main mission. My highest theme was Artistic, with top interest areas in Visual Arts & Design, Writing & Mass Communication, and Performing Arts. That’s not just about hobbies—it’s how I process the world and express who I am.
  • Structure and creativity can coexist. A surprise high score in Office Management helped me see I thrive when creativity is paired with organization, logistics, and coordination. That explains why I’ve always enjoyed project-based work that blends planning with visual or written output.
  • Working with people and ideas fits me best. I strongly prefer collaboration and idea-sharing over competition or hard sales. My style leans toward team participation, reflection, and leading by example—not by shouting the loudest.
  • Risk-taking? Not my thing—and that’s okay. I prefer stability, clarity, and thoughtful decisions. That doesn’t mean I can’t grow or adapt—it means I build success through intentional, sustainable steps.

🧭 So, What Does It All Mean?

It means the roles I used to think of as “just jobs” were actually clues pointing toward my real strengths. From print production to blog writing, training design to creative coordination, I’m most energized when I’m helping people understand things—visually, emotionally, or through clear structure.

These assessments didn’t tell me what I should be. They helped me name what I already am.

🐾 Diana’s Take:

While I was busy unlocking personality insights, Diana was unlocking the snack drawer. But if she could talk, I think she’d agree that I’m at my best when I’m tuned into who I really am. (Especially when that includes setting aside time to cuddle, reflect, and chase laser dots—her version of balance.)

💬 Final Thought

Personality and career tools aren’t meant to box us in—they’re meant to give us language for what we already sense. When used wisely, they can light up the map of your career path. The road ahead is still yours to shape—but now, with clearer signs and stronger footing.