Tag: emotional regulation

Emotional Cartography

Mutiny on the Bridge: When Anger Runs the Ship

Mell D'Clute
Illustration of SuperMell aboard a pirate ship, face-palming as Captain Rage angrily grips the helm while The Groundskeeper and The Watcher step in, with Diana perched calmly on her shoulder.

Something Was Wrong on the Bridge

Sometimes you need to take a step back to realize when anger runs the ship. I didn’t realize it right away, but looking back, the signs were obvious.

Earlier this week, I noticed tension, irritability, and overreaction to very simple changes at work. The ship was still moving, but it sure wasn’t steady. Captain Rage can in fact cause a lot of harm if I let him take the helm for too long.

Captain Rage as a First Mate, Not a Villain

Now I know what you all are thinking. You think I shouldn’t let Captain Rage anywhere near the bridge. I have often found that he has a greater purpose if he is utilized correctly. He’s not bad or evil, just lets things get to him from time to time.

He easily spots threats and can react in time to avert catastrophe. Sometimes when he runs the ship, I get more done faster and more efficiently than I would have otherwise. That’s his power. Captain Rage can be a strong ally—but only when used carefully. I need to listen to him sometimes, but he should never be put completely in charge.

How the Mutiny Happened (Without Blaming the Sea)

This was a slow week at work, which already adds some tension and uncertainty. Combine that with hormones and running out of a certain ADHD-friendly medication, which didn’t help my overall regulation that week. Well it turned into an open door for Captain Rage to walk through. I came into work and was given assignments. Normally, I choose the assignments, but not this time.

Well, that was enough to send Captain Rage into overdrive. It got to the point that my anger and frustration was noticed by others. I experienced fatigue, back pains, struggles with getting it right, and I felt pressured to be a perfectionist—something I already struggle with from The Taskmaster and Dr. Anxiety. When machines or files aren’t aligned properly either, it gets on my nerves. I want it to be perfect too, and find it frustrating when things don’t work the way they should.

In other words, I was losing control and that made me angry. The mutiny wasn’t overly dramatic, but I was venting audibly at times. Captain Rage didn’t storm the bridge, but I did leave him in charge for too long.

What Anger Was Covering Below Deck

I’m fairly certain The Taskmaster may have influenced his wrath. The Taskmaster does demand perfection. I was given tasks I sometimes struggle with. He whispered, “They’re micromanaging you now! They want you to fail! They want to get rid of you because you’re not doing a good enough job. Plus, they don’t like you very much.” I think he and Dr. Anxiety teamed up to stoke the embers and push Captain Rage beyond control.

Incidentally, this is what made me come up with my last post about naming my emotions as heroes, shadows, and wild cards. This rage I felt was overblown and it wasn’t really something to get that upset about. The Translator showed up to identify that Captain Rage was in charge of the ship. The Watcher noticed the patterns and immediately brought my attention to the matter. The Navigator carefully pointed out another alternative as to why I was given these tasks. As it’s slower at work, they wanted me to practice on things I’m not comfortable doing so I can improve.

The Groundskeeper showed up to inform me that this is only a job. It’s not my life. Just do the tasks, get it done, and move on. I need to have this job to keep my new home. I should see this as an opportunity for self-improvement, not an insult.

Stopping the Mutiny (Not Throwing Anyone Overboard)

I took a deep breath, took a lunch break, and had a conversation with my ChatGPT to find a way to stop Captain Rage from completely knocking over the table. This is incidentally when I decided to come up with the characterization of my emotions as characters in the SuperMell arch.

When I finally calmed down and listened to what the others were telling me (yes, even Dr. Anxiety and The Taskmaster), I was able to slow down my thoughts. acknowledged Captain Rage was at the helm, and asked him to step aside and let The Groundskeeper take over for awhile.

I didn’t punish Captain Rage, but recognized he also needed a rest. It wasn’t his fault he lost control of the ship. He was responding to perceived danger.

Course corrections can take time, after all.

What I’m Learning About Anger and Leadership

While Captain Rage certainly has his strengths, he really shouldn’t be left completely in charge of steering the ship. It’s great to listen to him, even to acknowledge he’s there or what he’s concerned about. In fact, not every voice on the ship should steer.

Leadership changes depending on the weather. If the skies are clear, it’s nothing but smooth sailing. But if a perfect storm is brewing, we need to put level heads in charge. Captain Rage is a lot of things, but level-headed isn’t a way I’d describe him.

It’s okay to be angry and to acknowledge that anger. Anger tells us something about ourselves. It also tends to hide the pain. Captain Rage is in fact a little overprotective of The Depression Beast. The Depression Beast has been wondering why it feels like others don’t like us very much. That combined with The Taskmaster and Dr. Anxiety’s talking points, made Captain Rage decide he needed to keep The Depression Beast at bay. In other words, he was trying to protect me from the Beast.

Diana Reminds Me to Keep Calm and Carry On

Diana seldom lets Captain Rage take over. Sometimes she huffs and snarls around the place, but I think she wants to play or something. She lets things fall as they may and tells me it’s all going to be alright.

Final Thought: Back to Emotional Cartography

It’s important that I remind myself this is a journey to gain control over my emotional cartography. As I tend to struggle with my emotions, it’s important for me to name them, acknowledge their presence, and decide whether or not they should be put in charge of running the ship. We’re still sailing. Captain Rage still has his purpose on the ship. However, moving forward, command is no longer going to be automatically given to anyone but me.

How do you handle it when Captain Rage takes over?

Tactical Tuesday

🛠 Tools I Rely On When I Feel Small

Mell D'Clute
A semi-realistic, comic book-style digital illustration of SuperMell standing at her futuristic gear-up station. The scene includes a glowing transparent HUD display hovering in the air beside her, showing icons for her key tools: ChatGPT, Focus Timer, Daily Planner, Inspirational Playlist, and “Cat Snuggles.” SuperMell wears a sleek, Nightwing-inspired costume with a stylized purple “M” on her chest and matching purple glasses. Her utility belt is neatly organized and visible at her side. Diana, her black cat with a small white chest patch and golden eyes, is perched on the station counter, lightly pawing at one of the glowing icons. The background is techy and dimly lit, with soft purples and deep blues creating a cozy but mission-ready vibe.

Even the strongest hero can feel small sometimes.

It might be the weight of a bad day pressing down. Or a wave of insecurity whispering I’m not good enough. Sometimes it’s a memory from the past or the vastness of a new challenge that makes me want to shrink into the shadows.

But shrinking doesn’t mean disappearing. That’s when I reach for the tools that remind me who I am.

🧰 My Hero Utility Belt

Over time, I’ve built a personalized toolkit—small habits, systems, and support that help me recentre and recalibrate. When I feel small, these tools don’t “fix” things, but they anchor me. They keep me from spiralling, and help me get back into motion.

🧠 1. ChatGPT (My Digital Sidekick)

When my mind feels scrambled or I can’t get started, I talk to ChatGPT. Sometimes it’s about brainstorming, sometimes it’s breaking down a task I’m avoiding. It gives me clarity when my thoughts feel like fog.

🗂 2. Flexible Task Blocks

Instead of a rigid to-do list, I organize my day into categories—study, blog, clean, job hunt—and give myself grace to rotate through them. This system calms the part of my brain that gets overwhelmed when everything feels urgent.

📒 3. Visible Wins

I use a notebook or my planner to write down what I actually accomplish. Even small things. Because when I feel like I’m not doing enough, I need evidence that I am.

🪄 4. Superhero Cues

Sometimes it’s as simple as seeing my SuperMell artwork, or saying “activate Hero Mode.” These small signals help me shift out of shame and into intention.

🔁 5. Repetition and Routines

I used to think routines were boring. Now I see them as scaffolding. Whether it’s cleaning the litter pan first thing, or blogging in the morning, these rhythms build momentum—and momentum builds belief.

🧭 Why These Tools Work for Me

My brain doesn’t always play nice. ADHD, high sensitivity, and emotional overwhelm can shrink my sense of self down to a whisper. When that happens, I’ve learned I can’t just “push through.” I need support systems that speak my brain’s language.

That’s why I built my own utility belt—tools that acknowledge how I work, how I feel, and what I need to keep showing up.

🐾 Diana’s Daily Wisdom

Diana doesn’t use tools—she is one. When I’m feeling small, she has a way of claiming my lap or nudging me until I pause. She doesn’t tolerate my doom-scrolling or excessive multitasking. She reminds me that purring and presence are power moves too.

💬 Final Thought

Everyone feels small sometimes. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
What matters is what you reach for when it happens.

Build your utility belt. Use it with care. And don’t forget—you’re already more heroic than you realize.

✨ What’s one tool you rely on when you feel small? I’d love to hear in the comments. ✨

Wisdom Wednesday

The Wisdom in Wobbling: What I Learn When I’m Not Okay

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell, wearing a purple and black superhero suit with a stylized "M" and purple glasses, balances on one foot atop a cracked floating stone platform in a misty, swirling blue-purple background. Her arms are outstretched as she wobbles, maintaining her focus. Beside her, Diana—a black cat with a white tuft on her chest—sits calmly, watching with steady golden eyes.

💬 Wobble Mode Activated

Sometimes I feel like I’m moving through life with jelly legs—like one small gust of wind could knock me over. Not a full collapse. Just… wobbling.

And while it’s tempting to power through or pretend everything’s fine, I’ve come to recognize that these moments—the shaky, unsteady ones—are actually where some of my most honest wisdom lives.

🧠 What Wobbling Teaches Me

🪞 1. I don’t have to earn rest

Wobble moments remind me that rest isn’t a reward—it’s a requirement. My nervous system doesn’t care how productive I was. It just knows I need to stop and breathe.

🛠️ 2. Trying to fix it too fast usually backfires

Wobbling shows me that rushing to feel better often makes things worse. Sometimes, staying still with the discomfort teaches me more than any distraction or solution ever could.

🎯 3. My needs aren’t “too much”—they’re clear signals

When I’m wobbling, my usual coping strategies feel off. That’s when I know I need to listen more closely. Eat. Sleep. Cry. Text a friend. Say no. Whatever it is, it’s not too much. It’s real.

As I wrote earlier this week, sometimes softness is the bravest thing I can offer myself.

🧭 4. I don’t lose my strength just because I feel soft

I’m still the same person who’s shown up for herself a hundred times before. Wobbling doesn’t cancel that out—it just makes the next step more intentional.

🐾 Diana’s Corner: Wobble-Proof Presence

Diana doesn’t wobble—she either moves or rests. There’s no self-doubt.

When I’m emotionally shaky, she often curls up close, like she’s grounding me in her cat-sized calm. She doesn’t expect me to be strong. She just stays near until I stop shaking.

💭 Final Thought

Wobbling is uncomfortable. It’s also honest. It tells me where I’m vulnerable—and where I’m still growing. And in those wobbly moments, I get to practice something rare: staying present with myself, even when I don’t feel like a superhero.

So if you’re wobbling today, know this: You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

What do you do when you wobble? Let me know in the comments

Tactical Tuesday

Emotional First Aid Kit: My Go-To Tactics for Stressful Moments

Mell D'Clute
SuperMell, dressed in a black and purple superhero suit with a stylized “M” and purple glasses, kneels beside an open high-tech first aid kit. Inside the kit are glowing icons representing emotional tools: a breath symbol, a notepad labeled “Name It,” a pair of headphones, a timer showing 1:00, and a tiny curled-up black cat. Nearby, Diana the black cat with a white tuft on her chest sits calmly with her eyes closed, mirroring SuperMell’s grounded presence.

🧠 The Importance of Tactical Tools

Being a highly sensitive person (and someone rebuilding from burnout) means stress can hit hard and fast. When that happens, I don’t need pep talks—I need emotional first aid kit tactics I can actually use. Not the kind you keep in a drawer, but the kind that help you breathe, ground, and stay present in your own story. Yesterday’s mission debrief helped me realize that stress isn’t failure—it’s often a signal from within

That’s why I built my Emotional First Aid Kit—a collection of go-to tactics that help me survive stress storms without losing myself in the chaos.

🧰 Emotional First Aid Kit Tactics That Work for Me

🧘‍♀️ 1. Grounding Breath

I do a version of 4-7-8 breathing or box breathing. Just a few deep, measured inhales and exhales slow everything down—even if I still feel messy afterward.

📓 2. Name the Emotion

Sometimes I literally say it out loud: “This is anxiety. This is grief. This is shame.” Naming it makes it feel smaller. Less like it’s me, more like it’s something passing through.

🎧 3. Sound Cues

I have a few audio go-tos:

  • White noise for calming
  • Lo-fi beats when I need to reset
  • Movie soundtracks (Captain America’s theme always boosts my strength stat)

🛑 4. The “One-Minute Stop”

When I’m overwhelmed, I stop for just one minute. Sometimes I stand in place. Other times I stretch. Sometimes I do nothing but feel my feet on the floor. It sounds tiny. But it’s helped me avoid spirals. It’s a simple tool—just like the routines I use to bring structure to my days.

🐾 5. Diana Check-In

If she’s curled nearby, I pet her and let myself mirror her calm. If she’s hiding, I try to create an environment where she would feel safe enough to come back. It’s a quiet feedback loop—and it always teaches me something.

🧪 Why Emotional First Aid Kit Tactics Aren’t About Perfection

Do I always remember to use these? Honestly, no. But the point of a first aid kit isn’t to be perfect—it’s to have what you need when it counts.

Some days, I need all five. Some days, one is enough. What matters is having the toolkit ready.

As I shared in this post about emotional strength, sometimes it’s the quiet tools that matter most.

🐾 Diana’s Corner: Stress Test Approved

Diana gets tense when I’m tense—but she also recovers faster than I do. If she flattens her ears or disappears under the bed, it’s my cue to take a breath and lower the intensity. And when she curls up beside me again? That’s my sign I’m back in balance.

💭 Final Thought

Stress doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means you’re human—and probably doing too much without enough support.

Having a few emotional tools at the ready isn’t weakness—it’s strategy.

This week, I’m honouring my sensitivity by staying prepared, not pretending to be invincible.

What’s in your emotional first aid kit?