The Waiting Is The Hardest Part
“The waiting is the hardest part.”
—Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
I’ve had that lyric stuck in my head for almost a full day.
Maybe that’s because I’ve been waiting for an official offer letter.
But something strange happened while I was waiting.
The future knocked.
This past week has been an emotional roller coaster. After my interview, the company contacted my references and even asked for one more. Then came the silence.
Yesterday I received an email letting me know the references had come back positively and that an offer would be prepared once the final details were worked out with the hiring manager and my job coaching team.
I don’t have the official offer letter… yet. Normally this would set off a massive panic attack by Dr. Anxiety. However, I find myself feeling really excited and celebratory about this new offer.
The paperwork is still on its way, but something has already changed.
A Strange Kind of Celebration
I’m not a partier. My idea of celebrating is vastly different from what is considered “normal”.
Last night, I decided to watch the Back to the Future trilogy on Blu-Ray to celebrate. I got through the first two movies, and will finish the last tonight. I didn’t consciously choose this series because of the situation. It just felt right. Also, I love this series.
I’m also finding myself feeling quite relaxed now — but in a good way. The past few months have been met with so much uncertainty. Now it feels like a great relief knowing that offer is pending.
I actually slept like a log last night… for the first time in a week or so. Ever since I had that really good interview, I’ve been imagining what I would do to help grow this company, and that has created many sleepless nights. I even came up with a catchphrase I can’t wait to tell them about on my first day.
When the Future Stops Feeling Scary
Of course, with a new soon-to-be job on the horizon, there are some jitters. There are so many unknowns. It will also be my first opportunity to put my Lean Six Sigma Green Belt training into practice. That’s another reason I’m excited about what’s ahead.
Having said all of that, I’m not as scared about the future as I’ve been for a while now. I know my EI will eventually run out near the end of September, which was quickly approaching. The future feels less uncertain now, rather than just something I need to survive. I see so many possibilities for career growth in this job now that it leaves me feeling excited.
That’s a feeling I haven’t felt in three or so years now. I feel like all the choices I’ve made in my life that has led me to this point in time have helped shape this new future. Normally I have often reflected back on my past experiences with loads of regret. Now I see them as all necessary stepping stones to a new chapter in the Book of Mell.
This isn’t about getting a job. It’s about discovering that hope feels believable again.
Looking Back to Move Forward
In the Back to the Future trilogy, one of the trilogy’s most memorable ideas is that the future isn’t fixed.
That’s exactly what it feels like I’m doing now. Every job I’ve had is leading to this new adventure. All the choices I’ve made in my life that have led me to this point. Every mistake I made became an opportunity for me to learn new skills and grow.
The future isn’t written yet. It’s up to me to make it a good one.
Diana’s Take on the Situation
Diana has concluded that celebrating means I stay on the couch longer, the fan remains blowing, and there may be extra treats involved.
She isn’t worried about offer letters.
She’s simply enjoying that her human seems happy.
The Real Victory
Today I had a huge revelation: I’m smiling a lot more than I have in quite a long time. I’m catching myself singing more, laughing more easily, sleeping better, and realizing I haven’t refreshed my email every ten minutes. It feels lighter.
The victory isn’t about the great interview, or the exciting email I got yesterday. It’s not even about the pending offer. It’s really about allowing myself to feel like celebrating after so much uncertainty. It’s about finding a reason to smile again.
I don’t know what the future holds for me. All I know is for the first time in a long time, I finally feel like dancing.
Final Thought: Opening the Door
The offer letter will arrive when it arrives. There are still a few steps before I can officially begin this new chapter.
Tonight I’m giving myself permission to enjoy this moment.
The future knocked. And instead of hiding behind uncertainty… I answered.
What are you looking forward to?
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