Mission Log Entry: Stardate 20260516
Operation Restore Order has been activated.
Systems check: Home base requires immediate maintenance.
Field notes: Due to the constant job hunting for the past few weeks, the home base has become disordered and chaotic. This long weekend, the goal is to reset the home base. Standard job-hunting operations will temporarily pause while headquarters stabilization efforts are underway.
Sidekick: Diana seems hellbent on knocking things to the floor, and getting into a catnip stash. She seems to have no desire to assist with the operation at this time.
Typical.
Current Status Report
For the past few weeks, I have had a shift in my priorities as I continue with the job search. Daily email and job board checks. Applications, resumes, and tailored cover letters sent to jobs that catch my eye. Reaching out to job search agencies for help, with no clear promises about anything involving graphic design. It’s been… an experience.
This past week, I had some progress on the job hunt. I received a phone call interview for a place I’m interested in applying to. That phone interview went quite well, so an appointment to meet with the boss was made for Friday. Thursday involved a trip to a surprisingly non-eventful job fair, which basically was mostly for job training/colleges, police or military, and not really much to do with any jobs, so the name is a little misleading. After that, I had an intake interview with a job hunting agency, and I’m still waiting for a response to that.
Thursday night I was really anxious and couldn’t get my brain to shut-up and go to sleep. Unfortunately, my brain chose Thursday night to run several unauthorized “what if I get the job immediately?” simulations. Sleep was limited to maybe three or four hours at best. Despite feeling completely exhausted, I still had to get myself across southeast Calgary early Friday morning for the interview. The Archivist of Regret is now crafting a new exhibit on this alternate timeline as we speak.
Exhaustion — combined with suddenly finding myself intimidated by interviewing with a very tall man, made me much less confident. The interview was quick, which I was told on the phone interview was his style and not to read too much into it. But I left the interview feeling like I botched it up. I’ll find out by next Wednesday if I get the job. I hope I do as it’s in my wheelhouse, but who knows based on the impression I left.
The Headquarters Has Become Cluttered Again
With all this work towards trying to rebuild my career, a lot of the general maintenance tasks have gone out the window. My daily tidies have become non-existent. This has become a real problem — one that I will be working on this weekend as I take a break from job hunting.
When my place is in disorder, it makes me feel more disordered mentally as well. I find it harder to focus. Which is frustrating because I already know this about myself, yet I let it get bad. ADHD brain, I suppose.
I know I’m really stressed out. I’m still in “pending” status on whether or not I will be getting EI payments, and the end of the month is rapidly approaching. This is a situation out of my control, so naturally I feel really worried about it. With my current steadily shrinking bank account, I’m really freaking out. Hopefully this decision will come next week.
In the meantime, the only real thing I can control is my home environment. The mission for this long weekend will be to clean the apartment completely, including laundry. I’ll also finish setting up the place. I still have to sort through the paperwork and hang pictures and other wall display objects. Also, I really need to clean out my car.
Clutter accumulates quietly while survival mode is active.
The Difference Between Cleaning and Restoring Order
While a deep clean is certainly a requirement for this weekend, I have to admit the purpose is more about restoring order. As my life has gotten chaotic, and it’s contributing to my mind becoming cluttered, I need something to focus my attention on that I do have control over. Organizing my environment has always helped me regain a sense of stability.
With the Flower Exercise in What Color Is Your Parachute?, the kind of work environment I need is my sensory environment to be in order. I need a scent-free, clean area, and some quiet time to work. Why should my home environment be any different?
I’m not seeking perfectionism. Just a calm environment. I need to reset my place so I can manage the job hunting task better. After the reset, I must get back to a daily tidying ritual so the place doesn’t get cluttered again. It was my goal for this year to be organized, and have a neat and tidy place. Losing my job may have disrupted the routine, but it doesn’t mean the goal itself disappeared.
Side Quests Discovered During Cleanup
Whenever I clean my place, it’s interesting how it inspires side quests. You suddenly stumble upon an object that you forgot you had. Suddenly the urge to stop and reminisce kicks in when looking through old files. You find a slew of unfinished projects you wanted to finish but life got in the way of completing them.
The Archivist of Regret makes many appearances during this process. She’ll guide me through several exhibits in the Museum of Past Mistakes. I do appreciate her attention to detail, and her desire to tell me a story. I’m interested to see which exhibits she points out this weekend.
Emotional Cartography Interference Report
It goes without saying that I’m experiencing some heavy emotions right now. Dr. Anxiety has been super active as of late, and I’ve even caught a glimpse or two of The Depression Beast hiding in the shadows. The good doctor doesn’t think I’ll succeed at my cleaning mission this weekend, as he believes I’ll be more inclined to hang out with The Procrastinator.
Meanwhile, Captain Rage wants things to go smoothly this weekend, but is very concerned about the bad impression I left from the interview. He’s so enraged he wants to throw everything out dramatically and swipe the kitchen table clean in one theatrical motion. I hear ye, Captain.
The Fog is making it hard to see where I should begin, and where the various objects should live. The Procrastinator really thinks we should just watch more One Piece and do a marathon of something this weekend. Come on, man! We have to focus.
The Navigator wants to show me a clear path, but due to the presence of The Fog is having some difficulty charting my path. The Spark suggested I write this blog piece first to get some things off my mind. Then there’s The Taskmaster… He’s angrily pointing at his watch, telling me there’s no time for this, and I need to focus on my top priority of finding a job every second I have.
My dear friend, I have all the time in the world at the moment.
Diana Has Chosen Chaos
Diana actually likes the clutter. It makes it easier to find any object to bat around the place. She’s also really interested in playing with plastic bags, and getting in the way. Especially when I’m washing my bedding and making the bed. Suddenly she needs to be under a blanket, and puts on a playful stance that you just can’t help but find cute. Irritating, but cute nonetheless. I’m sure she’ll have no problem supervising the whole process and won’t even volunteer to help out. Some sidekick, huh?
The Ship Still Flies
Even with uncertainty, life is still moving forward. Systems are still operational. Momentum is slowly returning. My mission continues.
I may not have all the answers. There’s still so much uncertainty.
“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.“
John lennon
My mission this weekend is to take a break and reset my home environment. That should be easy. The hard part will be not letting the Emotional Cartography characters get in the way.
Final Thought: Current Coordinates
Operation Restore Order is underway. Headquarters is gradually stabilizing. Job search is still… ongoing. Creative systems are starting to reboot. Morale is slightly improving. Diana… impossible to manage, as always.
The mission continues, one piece at a time.
What’s your mission this weekend?
Discover more from Mell D'Clute
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
1 thought on “Operation Restore Order”