A tribute to Rob Reiner and the power of storytelling
Boy the way Glen Miller played,
Songs that made the hit parade,
Guys like us we had it made,
Those were the days,And you know who you were then,
Girls were girls and men were men,
Mister we could use a man like
Herbert Hoover again,Didn’t need no welfare states
Everybody pulled his weight,
Gee our old Lasalle ran great,
Those were the days
Ever since the tragic news of Rob Reiner‘s death hit me, I have had this song in my head, performed by Archie and Edith Bunker at the beginning of every All in the Family episode. The news that Rob Reiner and his wife Michele were tragically killed was a shock that hit me hard. Reiner’s work — from All in the Family to Stand by Me and beyond — shaped so many chapters in my life. His passing is a loss not only of a filmmaker but of a voice that helped encourage how I understand friendship, courage, and what it means to be human.
All in the Family
Some of my earliest memories of watching TV, besides Sesame Street, involve watching this show. I may have been too young to understand what the context of the show was about, but enjoyed watching it nonetheless.
A few years later, I watched the reruns and understood more clearly what the show was saying. Archie Bunker was this guy who always thought he was right to believe in whatever he believed in, and would constantly be butting heads with his son-in-law, Mike Stivic, otherwise known as “Meathead” in Archie’s words. It was older generation versus newer generation ideology. As a youngster, I could understand that.
Not too long ago, I managed to watch the series back when I had cable and it was on TV. Honestly, it still holds up today as much as it did back then. Republican versus Democrat. Left versus right. What struck me was the ongoing clash between Archie’s idea of how things were “supposed to be” and Mike’s insistence that the world had changed—and how the show often let Mike be right in the end.
The series was ahead of its time for the 1970s, and indeed some of the topics are just as relevant today as they were in the 1970s. The storytelling was what mattered. It was a great show, and I always loved how passionate Mike was about his arguments. It was the first introduction to Rob Reiner for me.
Stand By Me
Yes, the title of this post is from the movie. A tribute to Reiner would not be anything if I didn’t mention one of my all-time favourite movies, which happened to be one of his early directorial debuts. I have mentioned the movie before, in both my post about Wil Wheaton and the post about The Movies That Shaped Me.
As a child, I learned to love and appreciate a good story quite early on. One of those formative movies for me was Stand By Me. A group of four youngsters go on a quest to find a dead body, only to discover some truths about themselves and work through some of their traumas. Rob Reiner deliberately cast young actors who perfectly matched their characters, revealing how intentionally he wanted to tell this story.
I’ve spoken already about what the movie meant to me. I’ll try not to repeat myself too much here. It was the first introduction to some of my favourite actors. The story and performances captivated me so deeply that they still resonate with me today. It was a very humanistic story. You could tell Reiner had a clear direction he wanted this story to go through. Even better, is watching old interviews and behind the scenes footage of how Reiner would motivate the kids to act in this scene. He’d always end the emotionally heavy scenes with a hug.
What His Stories Taught Me
There are countless more films that were just as inspirational as Stand By Me and All in the Family were, but I don’t want this to be a body of work type of post. Stories don’t have to be flashy to be powerful. That is true for both of these examples. His stories were very human, very real, emotionally raw, and powerful.
Both of these examples showed ordinary people in ordinary situations. Basically, this let me know early on that it’s okay to be ordinary. Everyone has a story worth telling. Ordinary people matter just as much as any famous person. That is what his stories were about, and that’s why I loved them so much.
Even within All in the Family, with the constant arguing and yelling, you could tell they still loved each other. Conflict doesn’t have to be cruel. It’s even okay to have arguments in a family situation. That doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. One of the best episodes shows Mike and Archie trapped together in a cold room at the bar, where Archie opens up about his father and explains that “Meathead” was actually his father’s way of showing love. It was such a powerful scene, and you could tell it impacted Mike, expertly acted by Rob.
There’s also a sense of power in vulnerability. It’s okay to not be okay. And it’s okay to cry about things that have hurt you. It’s in fact the only way you can deal with it, otherwise you just bottle it all up, and end up angry and resentful. To think that four young twelve-year-old boys were dealing with some emotionally powerful things, and not one of them made fun of each other for crying, was, in a way, Reiner telling the audience that if kids can get this, so can adults.
Why These Stories Stay With Me
Once in a while, I pull out the Stand By Me DVD and watch it. Every so often, if I find the All in the Family show somewhere I try to watch it. These stories have impacted me in very profound ways. I think I’ll always find some joy in watching them. Whether portraying a working-class family arguing around a living room or four boys walking railroad tracks, Reiner trusted his audience to feel instead of being lectured.
The lessons from watching All in the Family in particular really shaped who I am as a person. These shows taught me empathy, reinforced the importance of women’s, racial, and LGBTQ+ rights, and showed me that most people ultimately want the same thing: to be happy.
I know it seems weird to focus on films. Some people think TV rots the brain. Maybe it does. Or maybe it teaches you something. I grew up in a generation raised on television, so these stories genuinely matter to me.
I love a good story. That’s why these two examples mean so much to me. They were good stories about ordinary people.
Final Thought
The world may have lost a Hollywood icon, but his stories will continue to endure. Great stories can long outlive their creators. It has happened before, and it will happen again.. The best storytellers don’t tell us what to think; they show us how to feel.
What was a story by Reiner that you found emotionally captivating? How did it impact your life? Which of his movies made you feel less alone? Feel free to share it in the comments.